Man Wanted
by stealth gato
Summary: Sasuke gets and interesting want-ad. inspired by the song 'Man Wanted' from Copacabana. songfic? WARNING: Yaoi and other M-rated junk.


So, I've had this song stuck in my head for the past week. so now you get a SasuNaru and NaruSasu one-shot! YAY! i don't know if this technically counts as a 'songfic' but then again, i'm not sure exactly what constitutes a fic as a 'songfic' there are lyrics if that counts... anyway, hope you enjoy.

WARNING: YAOI!!! SasuNaru and NaruSasu! other m-rated things  
DISCLAIMER: Naruto (c) Kishimoto 'Man Wanted' (c) Barry Manilow

* * *

Sasuke sighed deeply as he ran his fingers through his hair, wincing when he found a large knot. He pressed his hand back a little harder, successfully breaking through the knot while tearing a small patch of ink-black strands from his head. With another sigh he let his arms fall to his sides as he leaned back in his stiff plastic desk chair. (His previous and more comfortable chair had been thrown out the window earlier that week and he was stuck with this chair until his new one came in) He had been stressed this past month and his work was suffering because of it, not that he had been getting much work recently anyway.

Uchiha Sasuke was a private investigator in a small PI company owned/run by one of his closest friend, Hyuuga Neji, called Byakugan. And while he was amazing at his job, sometimes he was too good and would end completing his assignments too quickly and not have anything to do for a few weeks depending on if his boss gave him more work or not. Aside from Sasuke and Neji, there were seven other employees so work had to be divided fairly between all of them. Everyone got three weeks per job before they got assigned new work, unless something urgent came up in which case whoever was finished (usually Sasuke) would get that case as a bonus. So for the past week, Sasuke has been sitting in his office waiting for the next week when he'd get a new assignment.

"You need to calm down or something, seriously." Kiba sighed as he stepped into Sasuke's office. Sasuke glared at him, but Kiba was use to it so it didn't intimidate him in the least.

"You need something?" Sasuke snapped.

"Making a coffee run, you want anything? You can come with me if you'd like." Kiba offered. Sasuke thought for a second and sighed.

"Yeah, that sounds great." He nodded as he got up. He went to Neji's office and opened the door. "Hey, Kiba and I are going to make a coffee run, what do you want?" He asked.

"The usual." Neji answered without looking up from his work.

"One or two?" Sasuke sighed knowing there were two drinks Neji could mean when he said 'the usual.'

"Two, but no whipped cream." Neji answered.

"Got it." Sasuke nodded before shutting the door.

"Sasuke, if you're going on a coffee run, I wouldn't mind going to help you out." Sakura smiled as he passed her office.

"Thanks for the offer, but I think Kiba and I can handle it." Sasuke shook his head.

"Yeah, me and Sasuke got this." Kiba agreed as he came up behind Sasuke and wrapped his arm around the raven's shoulder. Sasuke sighed and moved Kiba's arm off of him.

"Don't touch me, you haven't showered in days." Sasuke coughed as a huge wall of Kiba's body odor hit him square in the face.

"Sorry, man. I've been doing stakeouts for the past week and then dumpster diving. I need to finish my case though, so I haven't had time." Kiba apologized.

"And yet you have time to go get coffee?" Gaara scoffed as he walked up to them.

"Hey, this is on business. The guy I'm tailing goes to this coffee shop every day at this time to meet with someone. I am a pro, you know." Kiba rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." Gaara sighed as he pushed past them to get into Sakura's office. Gaara started talking with Sakura and Sasuke grabbed the back of Kiba's shirt collar to pull him towards the door. Once outside they walked down the street to the coffee shop. Kiba was talking the whole time, but Sasuke wasn't really paying attention. Sasuke usually had a problem when walking down the street because he was so aware of everything around him it was almost like he had ADD. It was best if he focused on one thing, but since Kiba wasn't exactly the most interesting thing to focus on, he focused on the cars driving by. By the time they made it to the coffee shop he had memorized the make, model, color, license plate, gender of the driver, and number of passengers of every car that had passed them and in what order. He wrote all the information down on a napkin while they waited in line.

"Jesus Christ, no wonder you're a PI." Kiba sighed softly when he saw Sasuke's napkin.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke blinked at him.

"Well, I could probably only tell you two of the colors of the cars that passed us end even then it would be a lucky guess. I knew you were like crazy observant, but damn." Kiba laughed.

"It's just what I do." Sasuke shrugged. Kiba laughed again.

"Hey guys, what can I get you for today?" Choji asked when they reached the counter.

"We're getting a number 3 today. With no whipped cream on Gaara's, extra on Hinata's and can you put caramel on Lee's?" Kiba asked.

"And no whipped cream on Neji's." Sasuke added. Choji laughed and nodded. They came to the coffee shop so much that the employees had a special way of taking their order now.

"You got it." Choji nodded before turning around to the guys working the machines. "We need a Number 3 for B." Choji said.

"Thanks, man." Kiba nodded as they went to sit down and wait. Sasuke was about to sit at a booth when Kiba grabbed him and took him to a table in the middle of the shop.

"What the hell?" Sasuke snapped.

"Shh." Kiba snapped as he leaned back in his chair towards the table behind him. Sasuke realized that the guy Kiba was trailing was sitting there with another man whose back was to them. Sasuke nodded.

"And so then she started talking about moving in together. I mean, we've been going out for two months. Sure she stays at my house almost every night, but moving in?" Sasuke started one of their routine conversations for these sort of situations.

"Yeah, that's a big step, man." Kiba said; this routine conversation was like a second nature for the dog lover so he could easily say what he was supposed to without having to actually pay attention to Sasuke giving him a better opportunity to listen in on the conversation at the table behind him. They continued their 'conversation' about Sasuke moving in with his girlfriend until their order came up. Kiba stood up quickly, running into the guy behind him.

"Watch it." The man snapped.

"I'm so sorry, sir." Kiba apologized to the man.

"Whatever." The man scoffed.

"Hey." Sasuke called from the counter. Kiba quickly picked up one of the trays of coffee cups and left with Sasuke.

"Dude, I totally just closed my case." Kiba smirked when they got outside.

"So you recognized that guy?" Sasuke asked. Kiba nodded.

"He came up in my research. He owns a ritzy club downtown, but that's just to cover his weapons dealings." Kiba answered. Sasuke nodded.

"Good work, finishing another job." He said. Kiba laughed.

"You act surprised. I'm second to you, you know." He smirked. Sasuke rolled his eyes. They made it back to the office to find everyone in a frenzy.

"What's going on?" Sasuke asked.

"Someone hacked our faxes." Sakura said.

"What do you mean?" Kiba asked.

"Well, about ten minutes ago every fax machine started spitting out these "Man Wanted" papers and wouldn't stop until they ran out of paper." Neji sighed.

"What?" Sasuke asked as he grabbed one of the pages.

_Man Wanted  
One real man wanted  
One mister rough and tough who'll kiss me 'til I cry_

_Man wanted  
Tall, dark and tan wanted  
About this much across and just about yay high_

_Previous experience required  
Plus a lifetime guarantee to satisfy  
(in writing!)_

_Man wanted  
One handy man wanted  
Some guy who's got the tools to keep my heat on high!_

_Extra strength and stamina desired!  
If you think you've got enough to qualify...  
(I'm waiting!)_

_Man wanted  
No Peter Pan wanted  
These ain't no kiddie toys  
So boys need not apply!_

_Keep those gents from Lord and Taylor  
Slip me one good sweaty sailor  
One real live man wanted!!!_

"What the hell?" Sasuke asked.

"It's a song." Kiba blinked as he read the page again.

"Yeah, maybe. With the rhyming and everything it could be." Gaara nodded.

"No, I mean this is a song. It's from that musical, Ino was singing it the other day." He told them. Everyone looked at him with a smirk. "She was singing it as a character, she's got all the man she needs you jerks." He snapped.

"Okay, but why would someone send us this song?" Hinata asked. Sasuke sighed.

"I know who sent it." He said. Neji laughed when he realized he also knew who sent it and why. Kiba and Gaara also laughed as Hinata blushed, quickly understanding after Neji got it.

"It's your case then, Sasuke." He smiled.

"Thanks." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I'll leave now." He waved to everyone as he left their building.

"Wait, I'm still confused." Lee said.

"Think about it, Lee. Who's the only person Sasuke knows that would send a musical theatre song about wanting a man." Kiba asked. Lee gasped.

"Oh." He smiled.

"Wait, am I the only one who doesn't get it now?" Sakura asked.

"Probably, and all of us are sworn to secrecy." Neji told her.

"Hinata?" Sakura looked at her with puppy dog eyes. Hinata bit her lip.

"I can't tell you, I'm sorry." Hinata cried as she ran away. Outside, Sasuke was starting up his car before flooring it to his destination. He pulled into the alley way behind the theatre and went in through the back door. He walked through the back stage area onto the stage where he found a bed sitting center stage and fake chandelier lights hanging from the flies were the only source of light in the whole theatre. He laughed softly.

"You're about 20 minutes later than I had expected." A smooth voice came from somewhere in the audience, it was too dark to see past the second row. Sasuke smirked and looked up at the exact spot he knew the voice came from: the 14th row (row N) the second seat from the aisle, their season tickets.

"I was on a coffee break." He answered with indifference.

"Do you think you fit the requirements?" The voice asked. Sasuke laughed again as he sat on the bed.

"Most of them. The song was practically written about me." He smirked.

"Do you consider yourself rough, or tough?"

"Not particularly, but I don't mind it occasionally."

"Well, you've got the tall and dark, but not so much on the tan."

"Fortunately I believe you've got me covered on that. The measurements were a little vague though."

"You're about that much across and just about yay high, I'd say. Previous experience?"

"I forgot my life time guarantee though."

"Do you consider yourself a handy man?"

"With all the extra strength and stamina you want."

"Excellent." Sasuke heard movement and it was a few seconds before he could see Naruto walking towards the stage. Sasuke smiled at his blonde lover.

"You know you could have just called me or something." He said.

"Yeah, but it's much more fun to embarrass you at work." Naruto smirked as he climbed onto the stage.

"You know they're all probably making fun of me right now. Except Sakura of course." He sighed.

"You still haven't told Sakura you're gay and going out with me?" Naruto sighed as he stopped in front of Sasuke.

"If you want to tell her, by all means go ahead. But I can't guarantee your safety." Sasuke smirked as he wrapped his arms around Naruto.

"True." Naruto nodded and laughed.

"So, is all this for me?" Sasuke asked, changing the subject as he motioned to the bed and chandeliers.

"Unless you don't want it." Naruto smirked.

"Oh I do. I just didn't realized that you were an exhibitionist." Sasuke smirked as he easily pulled Naruto to the mattress and got on top of him.

"Yeah, well I thought that a change of scenery would be nice." Naruto smirked as he wrapped his arms around Sasuke.

"Change of scenery?" Sasuke laughed. "As if we don't already do it everywhere we can." Sasuke laughed.

"Yeah, but there's usually not a bed." Naruto pointed out.

"I hardly think that a plywood box covered in silk qualifies as a bed." Sasuke countered.

"But we have pillows." Naruto smiled. Sasuke laughed and kissed Naruto deeply. Naruto easily submitted his mouth to Sasuke's wandering tongue. Their tongues tangled the same way their bodies wrapped around each other, not even they could tell where one body ended and the next began. Clothes were easily discarded as naked bodies tried to become one. Moving in a slow, sensual dance as each one brought the other to its climax. If they had been an audience, they would have been in awe at the beauty (at least they thought that way).

Sasuke kissed all over Naruto's body; from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, Sasuke lovingly worshiped every piece of beautifully bronzed skin because he knew he owned every inch of it. Naruto just tried to remember to keep breathing as he watched the dark head of his lover slowly move down his body. He moaned softly as Sasuke bit the inside of his thigh as he brought the tan leg over his shoulder. The only time Naruto loved Sasuke's crazy observation skills was when they were in bed because Sasuke always knew exactly what he wanted. Sasuke's faced disappeared between his legs and suddenly Sasuke's mouth enveloped his member while slick fingers prodded his entrance.

"Fuck, Sas." Naruto moaned wantonly. Sasuke smirked as he pressed his fingers into his waiting lover. Naruto gasped and arched his back as Sasuke watched him closely, taking every detail in with his ever vigilant eyes. Slowly Naruto's entrance was stretched, his body easily opening to allow the intrusion. Sasuke loved watching Naruto more than anything at this point, they had reached the point where Naruto was feeling amazing but starting to feel impatient with only Sasuke's fingers inside of him. Sasuke could easily estimate within a few seconds of how long it would take Naruto to get to this point each time, and then he'd count to 100 before, "Sas, please, no more fingers." Naruto begged.

"Whatever you want." Sasuke smirked as he spread Naruto's legs. As Sasuke pressed into Naruto, Naruto's moan echoed through the theatre. Sasuke laughed softly and kissed Naruto chastely. "Stage mikes must be picking you up." He smirked before delivering a hard thrust into Naruto's prostate causing the blonde man to moan louder.

"Fucking sadist." Naruto groaned as his moans echoed through the speakers.

"Make sure to give the audience a good show." Sasuke whispered huskily as he started moving. The theatre was filled with moans and groans, panting and grunting and incoherent words of affection and adoration. With a call of the other's name, both men came. Naruto pulled Sasuke in for a sweet kiss.

"I love you, Sas." He said tiredly.

"I love you, Naru." Sasuke smiled slightly as he kissed Naruto back. Sasuke moved to lay beside Naruto and stared at his blonde lover. He had memorized everything about Naruto's appearance but for some reason he never got tired of looking at him. Naruto was just about the exact opposite of him in physical appearance, almost like the sun and the moon. Perhaps, that was why they complimented each other. Naruto was also bigger than he was. Sasuke knew that if he drew a silhouette line around himself and then drew another line about an inch outside of that, that would be Naruto's silhouette line. But Naruto plays his part as the submissive partner brilliantly for Sasuke's sake, even though in reality Naruto submits to no one. Sasuke smiled and crawled back on top of Naruto.

"Sas?" Naruto yawned. "You really want to go again?" Sasuke smirked when he saw Naruto struggling to open his eyes. He kissed Naruto's eyelids before capturing his lips.

"I just want to try something new." Sasuke whispered as he gently stroked Naruto's member to full hardness.

"Yeah, but I don't think I have the energy," Naruto started before Sasuke kissed him again.

"Will you just trust me? You don't have to do anything." He said against Naruto's lips.

"Fine." Naruto nodded. Naruto laid there as Sasuke ground their groins together. Naruto knew Sasuke was doing something else but was too exhausted to even open his eyes. He heard Sasuke take a deep breath before he felt the head of his erection pressing against something. Naruto's eyes shot open as the head of his member disappeared inside Sasuke's body. Both men moaned, Naruto more in pleasure while Sasuke's was more in pain. "Fuck, Sas. What the hell are you doing?" Naruto panted. He knew he probably should stop Sasuke because he could really hurt himself, but it felt so good.

"I just wanted to try it." Sasuke panted, his voice was strained as he tried to relax his muscled to let Naruto's huge member in.

"Fucking hell." Naruto groaned as he slowly sat up and wrapped his arms around Sasuke. "Why the hell would you do this? You should have at least told me so I could have prepared you properly, you're gonna hurt yourself." He sighed kissing the tears from Sasuke's eyes. "Relax." He whispered comfortingly. Sasuke knew it was going to hurt, he remembered how much Naruto had cried their first time, but he hadn't realized it would hurt this much.

"I didn't know it would hurt so much." Sasuke panted as he gripped tightly to Naruto.

"Why the hell did you do this in the first place?" Naruto groaned as he tried to control himself from pounding into the raven.

"Because, if you think about it logically, you should be the one on top." Sasuke grit his teeth as he tried moving.

"You're such a dumbass." Naruto laughed softly and kissed Sasuke gently.

"But the song," Sasuke started.

"Just shut up, Sasuke." Naruto smiled. Sasuke nodded. "Okay, we're gonna take this nice and slow so that you can get use to it." Naruto gently gripped Sasuke's hips and slowly moved him maybe an inch up before letting him drop back down into his lap. Sasuke hissed in pain.

"Did it hurt this much your first time?" Sasuke asked

"Well actually since I'm a bit wider and longer, you're probably hurting more than I did." Naruto said.

"Fucking hell, why did I do something like this?" Sasuke winced as Naruto lifted and dropped him again. Naruto laughed softly and kissed Sasuke as he continued slowly thrusting in and out of him. They both knew Sasuke was too stubborn to actually stop no matter how much it hurt, so being the good lover that Naruto is, he slowly helped Sasuke get use to it. After a few minutes, it didn't hurt as much anymore.

"You're relaxing. Can I go a little harder now?" Naruto asked. Sasuke nodded and gripped tightly to Naruto, pressing his face into Naruto's shoulder. Naruto started thrusting harder and faster as Sasuke bit his shoulder. Naruto was pretty sure Sasuke's teeth had drawn blood but he couldn't check until he was finished. Naruto angled their hips and he delivered a blow straight into Sasuke's prostate. Sasuke moaned as pleasure shot up his spine.

"Fuck." Sasuke gasped as Naruto thrust into his prostate again. Naruto smirked and continued abusing the gland until Sasuke climaxed. Naruto followed shortly after and they collapsed on the bed.

"I was fine with being the bottom." Naruto said after a few minutes of silence.

"Don't lie. It's not in your personality to be submissive." Sasuke told him. Naruto laughed.

"I'm not actually gay either, but sometimes exceptions can be made." He smiled.

"Fine, see if I ever bottom again." Sasuke huffed.

"You mean you were thinking about it?" Naruto smirked.

"Well, I mean, it wasn't terrible even though it hurt like hell." Sasuke blushed deeply. Naruto laughed and kissed him. They were quiet for a few minutes until Sasuke turned to look at him. "How did you know I'd figure out you were the one to send the 'Man Wanted' flyer?" He asked.

"Because it was Ino's audition song. She told me she'd been driving Kiba crazy singing it for the past few weeks so I knew Kiba would know it. And then after that I knew it'd be easy to figure out who would send a musical song called 'Man Wanted' to every fax machine in Byakugan." Naruto answered with a smile. Sasuke rolled his eyes. After that Naruto would occasionally send "Man Wanted" messages to Byakugan just to embarrass Sasuke. THE END.

* * *

REVIEW!!!!


End file.
